And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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