Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
