i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
