I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
