How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
