she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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