omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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