woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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