Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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