Little spoons don't ask big questions
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
