I bet he comes in French.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
