Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
