Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
