Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Let's get the cat blown out
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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