lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it was like eating out sand paper
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
