Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
