man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
