She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
