On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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