so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
