okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
