it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
