Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
