How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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