I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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