I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm too high and old for this...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
