ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
