just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
