I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had sex on a roof
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
