I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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