Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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