I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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