We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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