I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
