Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
