She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
