Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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