I feel like I'm in dance class right now
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
