You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
