Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
