We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
