I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
