What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
