Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
