Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
