NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
