Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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