hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
