You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i believe in u and ur pee
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