dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
